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Jessica Miesel's Journal

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

2:54PM - whooooaaa ...

this is strange. i forgot i had this. i went back and read the majority of everything i wrote in the years past and i was so angry!
i'm a little nervous to be writing this - does anyone even use lj anymore? i actually keep a blog on myspace.com.
anyway ... again, i play the role of the chick who has fallen off the face of the earth. either that, or the chick who simply doesn't understand how to use a phone. i am in canyon, texas for the summer doing some theatre work. it's extremely hot and this place is in the middle of nowhere. no joke. it's depressing. but hey! i'm getting paid. i will be returning to shorter college for my senior year on august 13th. still doing the whole musical theatre thing ... it's a little crazy that i have one year left and then i will have to find something to do with this major. i don't know what that is yet, but i sure hope i figure it out soon.
well ... that's my life in a nutshell.
hope everyone is well. believe it or not, i think about you all often.

Current mood: nostalgic

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

12:15AM - This is officially the most boring LJ post in history.

I feel like writing but I don't have anything to say. I hate when that happens.

Things seem to be getting weird around here. What's going on? Can someone fill me in please, because I am super confused.

I have exactly a month before I go back to school. Not too bad, I suppose. In the next few weeks I can start packing. I also need to get my hair cut and colored, like whoa.

Work can kiss my ass. They are giving me super shitty hours. I hate them.

Hm, yea. That's about it.

Monday, July 14, 2003

11:19PM

I watched Good Will Hunting tonight. I cried. A lot. That scene between Will and Skylar ... I thought I was going to make myself sick.

So my friend wants me to go to American Idol auditions with him on the 20th. Of course, he's super hardcore about it so the audition is on a Wednesday, but he wants to get up there on Sunday. What the HELL are we going to do for, what, 3 days? I dunno ... I'm not hardcore about this. I know I won't get anywhere with it. Why waste three days? Hmm ... we'll see. It might be fun.

I need more hours to work. I'm poor.

And ... that's all.

Monday, June 23, 2003

12:15AM - This is my life :)

I'm talking to a guy from school and he's pouring his heart out to me about how much I mean to him and stuff like that. It's nice and everything, but why can't I be hearing this from someone like ... oh I dunno ... Brandon??? It's always the wrong guys ... ALWAYS.

I watched The Pianist last night. I'm speechless. And that doesn't happen to me very often. I cried for about 75% of the movie, and then about a half an hour afterwards. It's such an incredible movie ... but I don't think I could ever watch it again. But everyone has to see it.

I ate sooooooooooooo much today. And everything was gross and bad for me. But damn it was good. :)

My Mom told me today that she and I will be going up to visit my aunt Jacquie and cousin Jacquie in about a month or so. I am very excited. :) I really do wish my family was closer. I don't understand it. But it's like we all secretly hate eachother, but we make little attempts to keep in touch with one another because we're family. I find it sad. It's the only family I've got and I feel like I hardly know who they are.
Anyway.


Devon and I watched Swimfan tonight. Ha. It was so bad. But we knew it and rented it for laughs. Oh yay.

I'm getting sick. Blaaahh.

So far I have read (keep in mind I like the easy-to-read-stuff, typically romantic comedies):
-The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing
-Mr. Maybe (ha - very enjoyable, despite the title)
-Summer and Smoke and The Rose Tattoo, both by Tennessee Williams

I am now going to read:
-Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber
-She's Come Undone
-The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
-A Marilyn Monroe biography :)

Sunday, June 15, 2003

12:52PM

The chair of the department resigned at Shorter to take a job in Carbondale, IL where his wife and son live. Fortunatley, the assistant director has now moved up to be the chair, and she's amazing. She will save us. :)
He invited me to a party, but I didn't go because I was afraid I wouldn't know anyone else there, and then I would be stuck there because home would be two hours away, and I told him I would stay the night. However, I found out that I knew just about everyone that went. I could completely kick myself. Stupid Stupid Stupid. And now he's in New Hampshire working for a theatre company for the summer and I won't see or hear from him until school starts. Whatever.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

10:46PM

I layed out today. it. was. so. hot. I have never seen someone sweat as much as I did in a period of thirty minutes. And I don't sweat. Ever. But I did today. Damn. And I don't appear to be any darker. Whatever.

I talked to Lindsay today. I really do miss her. She's coming home on Sunday and will be here for about a month. :) yay! If she can pry herself away from her boyfriend for a few minutes, maybe I can see her.

Work has been fun - today was my first day off. But I sold the most credit cards the other day, so I got a free perfume/lipstick. Heh. Now my boss likes me. :)

I emailed my voice teacher and assistant director at school. Yes. I'm a nerd. Emailing my professors over summer. But hey. They're cool and I miss them. So yea.

Sunday, June 8, 2003

12:40AM

I want to go back to school so badly that it literally makes my heart ache.

Thursday, June 5, 2003

9:53PM - ... and that's how I feel about that ...

ignorant. damaging. rude.
disrespectful. sad. unhealthy.
stupid. pointless. ugly.
embarrassing. unnattractive. insecure.
bad. expensive. waste.
black. tough. unfashionable.
weak. weak. weak.
excuses. painful. selfish.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

10:09PM

Livejournal somehow lost my first entry. :(

I am going to Houston, TX on the weekend of June 1st to see old friends. I am so excited that I just may pee myself.

A trainer named James at the gym wants to "draft" me. What this means, I don't know. But I think I might be excited about that, too.

I had an interview with Victoria's Secret. If they offer me a job there, I am going to quit New York and Company b/c I really love Victoria's Secret. You also get discounts at a lot more stores. :)

I have lost 7 pounds so far. I have 18 more to go. :)

10:05PM

I am going to Houston, TX for the weekend of June 1st. I am so excited I just might pee myself.

A trainer at the gym wants to "draft" me. What this means, I don't know. But I think I might be excited about that, too.

I had an interview with Victoria's Secret. If I get a job there, I am quitting New York and Company b/c I really like Victoria's Secret. You also get discounts at more stores. :)

I have lost 7 pounds so far. 18 more to go. :)

Saturday, May 17, 2003

7:08PM

La dee da dee da ...

I start work for real on Wednesday.
I actually enjoy working out. Whoa.
I can now say that I have seen more than one person since summer has begun - the number is now up to 5. woo! thanks guys. :)
I'm going to Houston in 2 weeks to see an old friend - or, a couple of old friends. I'm excited.
My *real* nails have gotten so long that they could be mistaken for fake nails. Ha. I find this exciting - but I'm sure you don't.

That's about it.

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

11:07PM - I think I watch too much TV,

I want to go on Extreme Makeover. Everyone on that show goes from unattractive to beautiful.

So, I have a job with Lerner, but they said I would hardly be working any hours. But Borders called me last night and I have an interview with them on Friday. So, we'll see.

My phone has decided to become stupid. Missed calls are showing up a week late along with all of my voice messages. Does anyone else's phone do this?

The weather guy was updating the weather today for almost 5 hours. It was irritating.

I have absolutely NOTHING exciting going on in my life right now. Wooooooooooooooo.

Friday, May 2, 2003

9:10PM

So far, this summer I have:
read 3 Tennessee Williams plays
joined Golds Gym and their yoga classes
gone running every night
watched The Ring with Neville
set up an interview with Lerner
went shopping


ha.

Monday, April 28, 2003

10:28PM

So ... here I am at home ... already bored out of my mind and wishing I were back at school. I wasn't supposed to come home until tomorrow, but I found out you had to be out of the dorms within 24 hours of your last exam ... so ... here I am. woo.
I have two potential jobs: Lerner New York and Company or Trade Secret. I guess I'll take which ever job offers me the most available hours.

oh awesome ... channel 69 is playing musicals all night long ... they just played *West Side Story*, now they're playing *A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum*, then *Oklahoma!* and then *Flower Drum Song*. hehe. sweet.

So, this summer I will: (this is really boring - i do not recommened reading any further)
work
take dance
take piano
take voice
take yoga
sleep
go to North Carolina and visit Joanna and Tyler
go see Laura, Matthew, Alicia, and Haley

Maybe the summer won't be as long as I think it will ...

Friday, April 25, 2003

10:48PM

I have a math final ... TOMORROW. Who the hell has finals on Saturday? There's no way in hell I can study for this thing anymore. Tomorrow is my last day of math FOREVER. I won't ever have to step into a math class EVER AGAIN. So, at this point, I don't care if I get a D in the class, as long as I don't ever have to take it again. The way I look at it, as long as I get a 50 tomorrow, I can still get a C and that is just fine with me.

BLLLAAAAHHH ... truth tables, Galileo, Plato, statistics... WHO CARES.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

10:01PM

I'm feeling down today ... not quite sure why, but I am. Maybe it's because I know that on Tuesday I will leave here and my friends for three months. Everyone seems concerned that I wasn't bubbly today. I guess everyone has their blue days.

My Mother is going to put me in hypnotherapy this summer. She feels it will help with my nerves during auditions. They get so bad that it hinders my performance. So ... maybe this will help me get control of that. Also, maybe it will help me figure out why I get sick/pass out over random stuff.

I have all these thoughts running through my brain and really icky feelings and ... I can't express it in words. I wish I would hurry up and get tired so I could just go to sleep ...

Tomorrow is another day.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

5:47PM

I had a meeting with Cat Mew today - my Acting 1 professor and the assitant director. Let me just say that this conversation was SO encouraging and motivating and ... ah, it just made me feel 12 inches taller. :) She said some wonderful things about how I've grown and what she sees me doing next year and ... AH! I CAN'T WAIT until next year. I really think I just might pee my pants.

Sunday, April 20, 2003

12:56AM

Every time I see a couple, I always think, "what did they do that I can't seem to do right?" I never can seem to get myself into a good relationship. Something ALWAYS goes wrong. Am I that big of a dork? Am I too innocent and virginal? Do I have an annoying personality? Am I completely unnattractive, or do I smell? I mean, WHAT?! I went out tonight ... we hung out, talked ... whatever. But ... it was strange, and it ended strange.

Me dying alone is slowly but surely becoming my worst fear.

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

9:45PM - Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill myself

So, a high pollen count is around 120 or so ... but here in Rome, the pollen count is 12,000! 120 = high, 12,000 = Rome. I want to die. I'm taking allergy medication. I can't imagine what I would be like if I weren't taking it. I can't see b/c my eyes are itchy and watery, I can't breathe and I sound disgusting b/c all I do is sniff, and I can't talk b/c a) my throat hurts, and b) I'm too busy sneezing. Not to mention, I look as though I've been punched in the eyes or something. Jesus.
So anyway ... the semester is slowly coming to a halt. I have four exams: math, english (turn in a paper), acting 1 (my 1 act play, and a paper), and voice for the actor (monologue). I already did my applied voice exam and I got B+'s from everyone. Not too shabby considering my throat is completely covered in pollen. I also have my dance juries on Tuesday (haha). Then I am done with my freshman year of college. Whoa. Where has the time gone? And what the hell am I going to do all summer?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ... I want to die.

Current mood: sick

Wednesday, April 9, 2003

12:31PM

Question of the day:
Why is sex so important to boys?
Thank you.

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